


Not So Much of a Sex God

by Xiubaek13 (slavetotheking)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bad Sex, Cunnilingus, Dry Humping, F/M, Grinding, Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 04:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slavetotheking/pseuds/Xiubaek13
Summary: Requested by anon: Hi author nim! Can you please write a scenario where the reader sleeps with either Xiumin, Baekhyun or Chen and they act like they are the best sex she'll ever have but they actually suck in bed? I think your sarcasm would fit this perfectly.Ok so I love you anon. I have had the best time writing this because I keep laughing at how mean I'm being and it's just been so much fun. <3 I'm so mean omg.Reader x BaekhyunWarnings: Fuckboy Baekhyun, smut, teasing.Word Count: 4752





	Not So Much of a Sex God

"I gave her the best sex of her life, she should thank me!" You didn't think you could roll your eyes any harder even if your life depended on it. The guy at the booth behind you had been bragging about his sexual prowess the entire time you'd been in the club. You'd come out to celebrate your friend getting a promotion at work, not to hear about how magical some dude's dick was and all the adventures it had been on. His friends weren't much better but this guy was definitely the loudest. You made a mental note to glance at the table when you next went to the bar to put faces to 3 men that you were not ever going home with. In your experience guys who felt the need to talk about how excellent in bed they were generally were lousy lays. "Hyung, it was so fucking hot. I was pounding into her and she was screaming my name like I was her new religion. Aish, you wish you were as godlike in bed as I am." The _nerve_ of this jerk. Who has this much self confidence?! You felt slight satisfaction when you heard one of his friends tell him to shut up.

 

You looked across the table at your two friends Mina and Soojung. Mina had gotten a promotion at work and Soojung had dragged both of you out to celebrate. Soojung had always been the lively one of the three of you. She was always up for adventure, especially if there was dancing or alcohol involved. Mina on the other hand had always been the mother of the group. She was the youngest but she was the only one who seemed to have her life sorted out. Mina had a long term boyfriend who doted on her, she had a great job in a marketing agency and had just been promoted to team leader for a whole floor of the office. Soojung had almost finished her doctorate at university and she worked all kinds of strange and varied jobs to help pay for her education. The three of you used to live together but Mina moved out last Spring to live with her boyfriend. You were a personal assistant for a stock broker so your work hours varied depending on his schedule. Thankfully this week he was on holidays with his wife and children so all you had to do was turn up to the office during normal business hours and sort through messages and emails.

 

It was rare for the three of you to get together at a club these days. Mina was clearly disgusted with the way this guy was talking about his conquests. You were unfortunately used to it. High finance bred a lot of rich jerks and they loved to over share about their weekends and sexual escapades. It annoyed you how they spoke about the women as though they were just objects and had lost all value once they'd been fucked. You recalled the one unfortunate work Christmas party when you went home with one of the brokers only to hear him bragging about you a couple of days later. What he'd been describing in detail to his co-workers was definitely what the two of you had done but he sure hadn't rocked your world. He had been only interested in chasing his own release and in no way cared about your needs.  In that moment you were so enraged that you walked straight over to the desk he'd been leaning against and tapped him on the shoulder. He shot you an overconfident smile when he saw you. "Sorry babe, I don't do seconds. You know it was a one time thing right? It would be unfair to all the other men out there if you kept getting to have me."

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think I actually wanted to sleep with you again after the other night? No. I just wanted to let you know that for the good of all women you need to either learn how to properly fuck a woman or just stop having sex because what transposed between us was in no way pleasurable or exciting. You should treat women different to your own hand or just stick to masturbating." You remembered how hard his co-workers were laughing as you walked away.

 

You looked over at Soojung. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet since the fuckboy in the next booth had started bragging. You nudged her with your foot. "Hey, you good?" She nodded.

 

"That dude is just killing the vibe. Also my drink is almost empty Mina, it                's your round next isn't it?"  Mina nodded and practically ran from the booth, happy to get 5 minutes away from the other booth.  You were out to celebrate Mina's promotion but you couldn't help laughing becasue you were certain she would have preferred a nice dinner somewhere not a drunken dance night. That was all Soojung.

 

As soon as Mina was gone Soojung leant towards you. "Hana told me about this guy. He's here with his two friends every week and he brags about some girl he's fucked every single week. Hana slept with him like a year and a half ago and she told me he had no idea how to please her in bed then we came here one night and saw him bragging about how great he was. Hana was so pissed off and embarrassed." Great. So he was _exactly_ like the guys in your office. At least you knew how to deal with them.  Soojun knew how you dealt with fuckboys so you figured this was why she was telling you about Hana and Mr. Thinks He's A Sex God in the next booth. That poor girl.

 

You weren't shy so if you liked a guy and wanted to sleep with him you did just that. If you ever heard them bragging about how amazing they were and how lucky you were to have slept with them you would walk straight up to them and give them an assessment of their skills in front of everyone. Guys at work mostly stopped trying to sleep with you because they thought you were a bitch but some saw it as a challenge. They jumped at the chance that they'd be the ones who would rock your world and they would then truly be a god among men. So far, it hadn't happened. They were either too eager to please, showed off too much or simply lacked any skill in making you come.  These guys needed to be taught a thing or two about passion and mutual pleasure.  Possibly even a certain guy in a nearby booth. You'd just have to see how the night played out.

 

"I swear, she was begging me to fuck her. Got her so worked up that she was all _Please Daddy, I'll be good, please just let me come_. It was so hot." Your brain was screaming at him to shut up because you were reaching your limit with how often this guy felt the need to bring up his sex life. After 15 minutes had passed and Mina still hadn't returned both you and Soojung decided that it wouldn't be the worst thing ever if you lost your booth so you both headed towards the bar in search of Mina and your next drinks.

 

As you passed the booth you stole a quick glance at the 3 men who had been invading your celebrations all evening. You would be lying to yourself if you didn't admit that they were extremely attractive. One had short dark hair, his whole face was lit up as he laughed at the other two. His eyes were like little crescents as he laughed and  he had an impish grin plastered on his face. He looked like sunshine and trouble all rolled into one. The next one had short blonde hair, stunning cat like eyes and a cute gummy smile. He was currently  was grabbing the nape of the last guy's neck to shut him up. The last guy was undoubtedly the one who had been boasting all evening. He was handsome, and he clearly knew it. He had red hair which was slightly longer than the other two. You could tell he was cheeky as all hell just from the grin that formed on his face as he squirmed to get out of the second guy's grasp. You turned and continued towards the bar, you needed that drink and to be away from this booth now.

 

You found Mina just as she was about to head back towards your booth with drinks. Instead the three of you downed a few drinks at the bar and decided it was time to dance the night away. The three of you made your way down to the dance floor and started to move with the music. The DJ was playing classics mixed in with thumping tunes with dirty, sleazy bass lines. It was excellent music to dance to so it wasn't long before you lost yourself to the music. Every now and again a guy would approach you, offer to buy you a drink and ask to dance. You'd accept the drink and the dance until they got too handsy then you'd send them away.  It was a sad that you were not surprised at how pissed off and rude they became the moment you tried to send them away. One guy in particular was not giving up easily. You'd already told him to go and yet he was still trying to convince you to leave with him. You struggled to believe that he actually thought he was flirting with you or that he had a chance.

 

"I just wanted to make sure you were old enough before I showed you my cock."

 

"Sorry, I can't see things that are invisible."

 

"Why have you gotta be such a bitch?"

 

"Well you clearly didn't hear me saying no so I had to make it more obvious for you. Now get lost." The man swore at you a few more times before finally leaving you alone. Before Mina or Soojung could make their way over to you he stepped into your line of sight.

 

"Hey, are you alright? That dude was cursing you pretty badly."  The overconfident yet stupidly attractive redhead was staring at you with a slightly concerned face.

 

"I'm fine, he's just butthurt that after buying me a few drinks and dancing I still refused to sleep with him." He laughed at you and made no attempt to leave. "Can I help you?" you stared at him, taking in his features. He was wearing the hell out of the eyeliner he had on and the smirk on his face coupled with the seductive yet playful gaze he was giving you was, against your better judgement, turning you on. You blamed the drinks. It was easier to blame the alcohol.

 

"If you are ok with it, how about we dance for a bit? Just in case that guy or any one of the 5 others that you have sent away come back to harass you." Your eyes widened as you realised he'd been watching you for most of the night. He might have been attractive but his words were a bit creepy.

 

"I might pass on that since you just admitted to staring at me all night." He feigned being offended, his hand flying to his heart.

 

"I have in fact, been staring at a lot of women. In case you haven't realised you are on a dance floor," he gestured around you to make his point "and I was over there watching the entire dance floor. You caught my interest when every guy that you rejected came stomping past me while cursing you on their way to the bar." You laugh, not realising just how many guys you'd shut down tonight. You didn't care that they were pissed off because you had done nothing wrong. Each of them had come to you, asked to dance with you and to drink with you and none of that meant you had to fuck them. It was not your fault that they felt wronged, they just thought they were entitled to something when they weren't.

 

You looked up at the guy standing in front of you. You were old enough to know that he would pretend not to be like all the other guys but he'd eventually try to sleep with you. The difference here was that you felt some attraction to him even though you knew he was a jerk. You were pretty sure you were older than him but that could be fun. Younger guys took direction well after you knocked their egos down a few pegs. You knew he'd brag about his conquest but at this point you kind of didn't care. If he sucked as much as Soojung had implied then you might just have to call him out on it. It had been awhile and so far he was turning on the charm. Add that in with the drinks you'd had and how annoying he was earlier was starting to fade from your memory."Well if you are going to stay and dance I'm going to need your name. I don't dance with strangers." You winked at him, turning on your own charm.

 

You saw it in his gaze. He thought he had you. "I'm Baekhyun, now does the lovely lady have a name?" He smirked at you as he moved closer. You gave your name and just as the next song started you added "but you can call me noona." Baekhyun spun you so that your back was pressed against his chest as the thumping bass filled the club. You started to grind against him, moving rhythmically to the music. You heard a low groan from his throat before he started to match your movements with his own. His hips moved in sinful ways and you weren't sure how someone with hips that moved like his could possibly be bad in bed.  Dancing like this with him was turning you on and you were sure it was having an effect on him as well. Both of you kept grinding into each other as the song built up, you could feel the heat starting to pool in your core.

 

Your arousal grew as the song continued but you refused to let him know he'd gotten to you so you just kept dancing. You knew you were having an effect on him, you could feel it every time you ground yourself against him. The song transitioned into another song that sounded like it belonged in a strip club. The dirty bass line bringing out bolder moves from you. The two of you were essentially dry humping on the dance floor so it was of no surprise to you when Baekhyun spoke into your ear. "Please tell me you want to get out of here with me. I want to ravage you and make you scream my name. I promise, you won't regret it." And there it was, the pick-up line you'd been waiting to hear. You were intrigued by him now. You'd been told that he was lousy in bed but the way he'd danced with you, the way his hips moved, and the way his fingers traced small circles into your flesh all pointed towards him being more than capable of pleasing you in the bedroom. At this point you just had to know.

 

You turned to face him and were met with the full force of his lust filled gaze. Now that was pure sex. You licked your lips and he closed the gap, his lips crashing into yours. The kiss was heated and you gave into it. Baekhyun's tongue collided with yours and your mouths moved against each other desperately. When you finally broke the kiss Baekhyun looked at you and said. "Do I take that as a yes because if that was how you say no then I think I understand why those guys were cursing you." You laughed and assured him that you did, in fact, want to leave with him.

 

\------

 

"See Y/N, I told you you'd be glad you rejected all the other guys last night. They would not have rocked your world the way I did."

 

You were lying in his bed trying to understand how he'd managed to do that. "Sorry, what?"

 

"Ah, I see, I fucked you so good your brain isn't working property." He grinned proudly, thinking you're confused response was due to being all fucked out.

 

"No, more like it was so bad that my brain is trying to erase it from its memory." You didn't get it. In the club he'd danced so well, and had been so in tune with the movements of both of your bodies but as soon as you'd gotten to his place it was forgotten. He rushed through foreplay and somehow those perfect fingers had not gotten you off. Then he somehow managed to almost not use his hips while thrusting into you. It was up there with the worst sex you'd ever had but unlike the other guys, this one had everything he needed to be excellent... it boggled your mind.

 

"What?" His tone shifted to defensive. You had hurt his ego but at this point you didn't really care. You'd been so aroused when you'd left the club only to be thoroughly disappointed in everything that happened afterwards.

 

"Sorry, was that good for you? Because I'm still waiting for the multitude of orgasms I was promised. Do you honestly think that if you just stick your dick in a girl and thrust until you come that she'll automatically have had the best sex ever? If you do you really need a lesson or fifty in how to please a woman." You were being mean but you were frustrated and still a bit drunk.

 

"What the fuck Y/N?!" You weren't sure if his tone was turning to anger or if he was trying to hide being hurt by your words. After all, he thought he was a sex god.

 

"Honestly, how can someone with fingers like yours not know how to properly use them? How can someone with hips like yours not use them properly? Why do you rush though foreplay? I just...I don't get it."

 

Baekhyun's face dropped as it finally sunk in that you weren't teasing him. He looked so pitiful as he pouted. "You're seriously not kidding are you? You're telling me I'm a lousy fuck?"

 

"Sorry...but yeah, I am. You have the foundations for being a phenomenal lover but you lack skill. I'm honestly confused about how you aren't better than this."  You sat on the bed in silence as he absorbed your words. You looked around the room to locate where all of your clothes had ended up and you tried to remember where the exit was. It was getting awkward in the room. You'd had sex then told the poor guy that it was terrible sex and he looked so defeated. You kind of just wanted to leave and forget this whole evening ever happened.

 

You moved to leave the bed but Baekhyun's hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you. He couldn't even make eye contact with you before he finally spoke. "Fine. Help me."

 

"What?!"

 

"Help me fuck better." You could hear how hard it was for him to get the words out. How much it hurt his ego to admit that he needed improvement. Did it have to be you though? Couldn't he just watch some decent porn and learn?

 

"I don't know..." You'd never thought to help the guy improve before. You weren't sure if you could help or if you could handle it if he didn't get any better. One round of bad sex was one thing, one right after the other was just depressing.

 

"Noona, please?" He all but whined those two words.

 

Those words, how could you refuse him when he'd said them like that? He'd sounded so needy and it shattered your resolve. "Fine, but on one condition."

 

"Anything noona. Just help me."

 

"You will not brag about this to anyone or I will tell everyone in great detail about how I had to teach you how to fuck a woman."  Baekhyun nodded and waited for you to tell him what to do. "Do what you normally do and I will tell you what you are doing wrong so you can work out how to fix it."

 

It took him a few moments to gather his resolve. Baekhyun gently pushed you back down so that you were lying on the bed. He positioned himself over you before leaning down to capture your lips with his. His kiss was gentle and uncertain, his soft lips moving against yours. He moved from your lips to your neck, lightly sucking on a spot that made you shiver. He noticed this and continued to pepper your throat with kisses, occasionally moving back to suck on that spot. "Don't rush Baek, take your time."

 

He moved one hand to cup your breast, shifting his weight onto the other arm he was leaning on. He rolled your nipple between his fingers, lightly pinching, causing you to gasp. He shifted down so that he could take one nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it as he pinched the other. You moaned as he lightly bit your nipple.  He shifted his head over to your other breast as his hand travelled down to your entrance. "So wet, I must be doing something right." He was sounding cocky again but this is where everything went bad last time.

 

His fingers moved to  rub your clit but he kept missing the spot. "Baek, slower and to the left a bit." He slowed his ministrations and moved his hand over to the left. When he got the right spot to sucked in a breath. "Right there. Fuck."  He dipped a finger into your entrance and you groaned. He slowly pulled his finger back out and pushed it back in. He inserted a second finger and continued until you stopped him.

 

"Noona?" He listened as you instructed him to curl his fingers and find your g spot. It took a little while but when he found it he wasted no time in making you a moaning mess underneath him. You ground yourself onto his hand, moaning again as his fingers stretched deeper. He all but growled above you, his fingers moving a bit faster, then scissoring slightly.  His movements were hesitant but growing surer.   He obviously understood what he had to do even if the effectiveness was an uncertainty.  You whimpered his name when he scissored his fingers and that was all the encouragement he needed. You thanked a higher being that he was a fast learner. Once he had worked out how to use his fingers properly you had been unable to form coherent sentences. You felt your orgasm building and your hips started to buck into his fingers. You needed more. Those fingers were amazing but you craved more.

 

You moved to grab his arm and pull him back up to your face but he moved in the opposite direction. You gasped when you felt him nibbling and kissing your thigh as he made is way closer to your centre. Instead of giving you what you wanted he passed over to the other thigh and continued to bite and suck. "Please."

"Please what noona?" He moved his head so that it was only just out of reach. You could feel his breath hitting your aching core. Normally you'd be up for all of the teasing in the world but after already being deprived of your orgasm the first time round you were desperate for your release.

 

"Baek, please. I need to feel you. I need you to make me come. I don't care how but I need it. Please Baekhyun, please." Your begging was doing wonders for his confidence, slowly building it back up after you'd shattered it all but 20 minutes ago. His tongue made soft, little licks around your clit, curling down and around your opening.

 

When you cried out, Baekhyun looked up at you and chuckled. “You like that?” As he spoke, his fingers pumped slowly in and out of your dripping centre, making sure the tip of his middle finger dragged along your g-spot.

 

You whined and nodded your head while riding Baekhyun's fingers. His tongue swirled around your clit as he rubbed his fingers against your g spot. You were so close and when he picked up the pace with his fingers you started to come undone. This was one area where he needed no guidance. Why the hell didn't he do this the first time round?! You could probably forgive bad sex if you got eaten out this well. His fingers moved with more force and his tongue flicked your clit at a unrelenting pace. "I'm gonna come, fuck. You are so fucking good at this."  Your orgasm ripped through you, your body tingling all over and your vision going blurry.  Baekhyun slowed his movements as he helped you ride out your orgasm.

 

You pulled him back up to you and kissed him hard, surprising him. You could taste yourself on his tongue as your kiss deepened. You ground your hips into him, hoping he'd get the message.  He moved himself between your legs and you could feel his cock pressing at your entrance. "Fuck noona, I need to fuck you." You bucked your hips in response and he thrusted into you in one fluid motion. He felt so good inside you, stretching you in all the right ways. He snapped his hips back and forth and you remembered that you needed to fix this. A guy who could dance like him should be better than this. You tightened your legs around his waist, preventing him from pulling out as far as he had been. He whined but you cut him off when you rolled your hips into him.

 

"Baekhyun, use your hips like you do when you dance. Trust me, it feels so much better when you use your hips more." He slowed his movements down and started to incorporate a roll of his hips into his thrusts. "Fuck, yes. Like that, just like that."  Ever the quick learner he started to use more force as he ground his hips against you before thrusting deeply into you. You cried out and screamed for more. This was what was missing before. This is the sex you had wanted after dancing with him in the club and you were finally having your world rocked.

 

"Fuck, you feel so good. I'm not gonna last much longer. You are taking my cock so well." His pace quickened and his thrusts hit relentlessly hit your g spot. Every time he ground hip hips into you it stimulated your clit and you were moaning his name so loudly you were sure his neighbours hated you.

 

"Harder Baek, fuck. So close. Please." You could only get out a few words at a time as every thrust stole your breath away. He shifted so he could slam his hips into you, your eyes rolled in the back of your head as you succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure you were receiving. Your second orgasm tore through you quickly followed by a loud moan from Baekhyun as his own release hit him. The two of you collapsed into the bed, sweat causing his hair to stick to his forehead. You were both trying to catch your breaths before speaking. Baekhyun found his words first.

 

"Better?" He smirked at you.

 

"Well..." You couldn't help but tease him, especially when he was so sure of himself again. The look on his face was priceless. "Baek, I'm kidding. That was fucking amazing. I told you that you had everything you needed, you just needed a little direction. I don't think I can walk so I'm not leaving this bed anytime soon. Baekhyun let out a breath you didn't realise he'd been holding and visibly relaxed next to you.

 

"Good, I don't want to move." He rolled on his side and pulled your body against him.  As your breathing returned to normal the two of you drifted off to sleep.


End file.
